Why Regulation and Connection Come Before Communication

If you’ve ever wondered why your child’s therapist spends time playing, swinging, or laughing before working on speech goals, you’re not alone. Those moments aren’t warm-ups—they’re the foundation. At GASLC, we know that before words can grow, children need to feel safe, calm, and connected. Here to share more on this, let’s welcome to the blog our Clinic Director, Michelle Needle!

When it comes to helping children grow their language communication skills, it can be tempting to jump right into targeting goals. After all, those are the visible “goals” we measure in speech and language therapy. But there’s something far more foundational that must come first and that is regulation and connection.

Before a child can engage in language learning, their brain and body need to be in a regulated state. Regulation means the child’s nervous system feels safe, calm, and ready to connect. When a child is dysregulated, whether they’re anxious, frustrated, overstimulated, or tired, their body shifts into “survival mode.” In that state, the brain’s higher functions (like language processing and problem solving) take a back seat to self-protection.

It’s not a matter of willpower or defiance.  It’s biology. You can’t learn if your body is just trying to cope.

Language doesn’t grow in isolation; it grows in relationships. When a child feels connected to a trusted adult, their brain releases the “feel-good” chemicals that make learning possible. This connection tells the child’s nervous system, You’re safe. You can explore. You can try.

That’s why play-based therapy, shared joy, and attuned interactions are at the heart of what we do. A child who feels connected is more likely to imitate sounds, take conversational turns, and stay engaged long enough to make progress toward their goals.

At GASLC, we view regulation and connection as therapeutic goals themselves, not as steps to “get through.” When we slow down to co-regulate through sensory play, movement, or calming activities, we help a child’s body and brain prepare for communication.

Only then can we begin layering on specific goals, like articulation, vocabulary expansion, sentence building, AAC device use, etc. In fact, progress on those goals tends to come faster and feel more natural once the foundation of safety and connection is in place.

You might see a therapist start a session with swinging, deep breathing, or a playful game before diving into speech tasks. It’s not a warm-up; it’s part of the work. These moments build trust, lower stress, and align the child’s nervous system with the therapist’s calm presence.

When regulation and connection are prioritized, therapy becomes something a child looks forward to, not something they resist.

If your child’s therapist spends time on play, sensory input, or co-regulation before working on language, that’s not “wasted” time.  Instead, it’s essential time. It’s what allows your child’s communication system to flourish.

Because when a child feels safe, seen, and supported, the language will follow.

Thank you Ms Michelle! Want more info on this? Feel free to reach out with questions!